Reflections from a saintly sinner

Babies

2007-04-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

Just before Christmas our family received a new addition...my niece had her first baby, a girl named Ashlynn Mae. To me all babies have always looked alike and I have never thought they were particularly cute like most people do. But forgive me, this one is adorable. I got to hold her for the first time on Christmas - she was only 2 weeks old. I had so much fun shopping for her. I had bought Christmas gifts for her even before she was born!

Now she is four months old and her mother sent me the picture above. The pink poodle with her is one of my Christmas presents. My niece says she adores it. Of course. It was hand-picked by me. Why wouldn't she love it???

Children are the future and they are our responsibility to raise them to become productive members of society. To impart appropriate values to them for the next generation and for the good of society. Wow, that's a MAJOR responsibility. And it's a responsibility for all of us, not just the particular set of parents who have a child. Perhaps one of the best ways we can do that is by supporting the parents.

Here are a couple of books that I have gotten for my niece and her husband to help them understand their little daughter and how she will grow up. Ages, Stages, and Phases (Liguori Publications) talks about child development from birth through adolescence. It helps parents integrate the physical, social, moral, emotional, intellectual and spiritual development of their kids. The author, Dr. Pat Fosarelli, teaches pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, and she teaches spirituality at the Ecumenical Institute of Theology at St. Mary's Seminary. So she does know what she's talking about!

Another book I gave my niece and her husband when I first heard they were expecting is a delightfullly illustrated book by popular author, Kathleen Finley. It is titled: Welcome! Prayers for New and Pregnant Parents (also Liguori Publications). It includes prayers for all sorts of routine daily activities that aren't always so fun. Like a prayer while changing diapers, a prayer when the baby is fussy, a prayer while feeding the baby during the night. There are also blessing prayers for the baby's crib and thanksgiving prayers for a healthy delivery, among many other prayers.

Continuing the Journey Wherever It Takes Us

2006-11-17T12:43:00.000-08:00

I just received a very touching phone call from a sweet little lady in California. She explained to me that she was a Catholic as a child but faded away from the Church for a long time. Now, at age 84, she has returned and is trying to do her best to get back into the swing of things.

She had been given a copy of Handbook for Today's Catholic, (Liguori Publications) and had a question about something she read in it. This particular book is an all time bestseller for Liguori. Revised and updated about four or five times, it has sold over 5 million copies in the last thirty years.

Through the years I have heard the stories of a lot of folks who have "fallen away" from the Church for one reason or another. I have to confess, I have been a "cradle Catholic" all my life and never experienced a period when I did not go to Church regularly. Even as a teenager (which is when many start to fall away) I played the organ at Sunday Mass and Tuesday devotions to Our Mother Perpetual Help in my hometown parish. That probably gave me something to do at Church so I never got bored there, as many people claim is the problem.

Liguori Publications has quite a number of books, videos, pamphlets and leaflets on the subject of Catholics who have fallen away from the Church and later want to return. One in particular is a new one by author Sally Mews: Catholics Continuing the Journey. The great thing about this book is that not only is it useful for "returning" Catholics, but it makes a great study guide for small groups of parishioners who always have been active in the Church. Here is an excerpt from its preface:

Is the status of our relationship with God determined by loving choices or obedience to laws or by both?

Many people do not want to love because love is hard work, time consuming, frequently frustrating, never absolutely certain, and requires involvement of the heart and surrender of deepest emotions.

And then Jesus comes along and says to us: "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

...It may well be that the only thing that Jesus will ask us after our death will be the question he asked Peter: "Do you love me?" And if the answer truthfully is yes, the doors of heaven will swing open.

Now that's an attractive brand of religion!

What Do We Believe About Each Other?

2006-11-10T13:30:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, so much of the political turmoil in the world today revolves around religious differences. I remember the theme song from a movie that was produced back in the 1970s or 80s: Billy Jack. One of the protagonists in the movie was a strong-willed woman named Jeanne. She would remind you a little of the role Barbara Stanwyck frequently played in westerns - righteous and stalwart. She reminded me a great deal of my 8th grade teacher whose name was Sister Mary Jeanne.

Anyway, a phrase in the theme song went like this:
Go ahead and hate your neighbor;
go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do in the name of heaven,
you can justify it in the end.

There's a new book out by popular writer Sister Joan Chittister, called In Search of Belief. The catalog copy for this book states, "we live in a world where religion has become a tool people can use to their advantage rather than a means of growing closer to God."

The elections here in the U.S. this past week seemed to be a struggle between the Christian right and everyone else. People are suspicious of Muslims, and Jews, and liberal Christians, and humanitarians.

I recently attended a memorial service for a young Jewish man that was held in a Christian church with two women ministers and a woman rabbi all playing parts in the service. The rabbi spoke profoundly when she said, "This shows that there is much more we have in common as a believing people than we have that divides us."

Liguori Pu blications has published a series of small pamphlets titled What Catholics Should Know About... . These tracts could be useful to a member of any other religion as well. Among the newest titles in this series are WCSK A Mormons, WCSKA Judaism, WCSKA Islam, and WCSKA Evangelicals. Each of these pamphlets was written by Father Vincent Heier who is an expert in ecumenical relations. He a priest in the Archdiocese of St. Louis.

I just seems to me that knowledge about each other will take away the fears people have of each other. Only then can we begin to live side-by-side in peace with respect and even reverence for each other's beliefs and traditions.

More Than Half Way There

2006-10-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I was in Davenport, Iowa to visit my 82-year-old Dad. He just returned home after a 5-month stay at the Kahl Home, a wonderful nursing home operated by the Carmelite Sisters. Dad was recovering from breaking his hip last June. I'm not convinced that his coming home is a good idea because I don't believe my petite 76-year old step-mother can adequately care for him. But he told me that at home he has a reason to live. In the nursing one just sits there waiting to die.

It's hard for many people to think about growing older and approaching the end of earthly life. My step-mother tries to ignore her birthday each year (but she doesn't want the rest of us to!) A wise nun once commented, "I know that I've already lived most of my life." She was about 60, and realized it was unlikely that she would live to 120. I myself am past the half-century mark, and for me each birthday celebration means that I'm just another year closer to heaven! That's not morbid...it's the hope that gives life to our faith.

Two really good books come to mind for me. One is Grounded in God: A Mature Experience of Faith by Jim Cavera and Ann Cavera (Liguori Publicati ons). In this book the Caveras reflect on the days when their kids were growing up. They also talk about visiting their grandkids today and feel a sense of satisfaction that their own lives are no longer so hectic.

Here is what the Caveras say in their book:

It is by learning to "be" rather than to always "do" and by welcoming what grace brings into our lives that we are able to see how God, at every moment, is making all things new.

I think that comes with maturity. I look around at others who are younger than I and who always seem to be "on the go." Since I have recently bought a house that is requiring more work than I anticipated, I sometimes wonder if I will ever again be able to have a nice quiet evening or a whole weekend for relaxing.

In the new house there is a sunroom that I intend to use as my personal reading room. One evening after I finished painting it, I sat there with a new book in hand. It was after midnight, but I didn't want to go to bed because it was so wonderful sitting there alone, in the quiet night, with a good book.

The other book is brand new - - hot off the press. The Spiritual Challenge of Midlife: Crisis and Opportunity by Anselm Grun, OSB. (Liguori Publications) Grun is a Benedictine monk living in Germany. As a monk he has a lot of time to reflect on what really matters in life.

He is also a very well-learned man. In this book he combines the reflections of a medieval mystic (Johannes Tauler) with an understanding of human nature as taught by modern psychologist, Carl Jung. No small accomplishment!

The author explains that Tauler often spoke about the fortieth year of life because he believed that only after that do our spiritual efforts begin to bear fruit. He equated the first 40 years of life to the 40 days between Christ's resurrection and his Ascension to heaven. He quotes Tauler:

Until a man has reached his fortieth year, he will never attain lasting peace, never be truly formed into God, try as he may. Up to that time he is occupied by so many things, driven this way and that by his own natural impulses; he is governed by them although he may imagine that he is governed by God. Before the proper time has arrived, he cannot achieve true and perfect peace, nor can he enter into a God-seeing life.

So while many may approach their senior years with fear and view it as a time of decline, Grun considers those "golden years" to be a period of ascent. Midlife and beyond is not the encroachment of weakness, but rather a juncture during which God offers people a new and more authentic way of living.

I expected this book to be rather heavy in theological and psychological jargon, but it is surprisingly easy to read.

The Stuff of Life & Death

2006-06-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

They say "when it rains, it pours." That has been true in my life these last several weeks and months. At the end of March my apartment building was sold and I was given a 30-day notice by the new owner to vacate my unit. (He wanted to live there!) I had to find a place to move by May 1.

A fellow employee had unexpectedly resigned in March and I was asked to temporarily assume some of her duties. It meant that I was out of town much of April (when I needed to be looking for a place to live...). In fact, I was in town only 8 days the entire month. A dear friend with whom I work and carpool graciously invited me to stay temporarily at his home until I could find a place of my own. I've been there since April 29.

I did sign on the dotted line for a home the end of May, but then the building inspection turned up some rather serious problems that I did not want to deal with, so we walked away from that contract. Just a week later I found another house - less expensive and in a better neighborhood. The inspection on this one went fine and if all goes well, I'll move in on or around the 4th of July. I can't wait (neither can my carpool buddy!).

In the midst of all that, my Dad fell at home and broke his right hip (he broke his left one 2 years ago). As soon as I learned of his injury I sped home to Iowa (280 miles away) to be there when he came out of surgery. Spent a long 5-day weekend at his side. Later in the week he was transferred to a local nursing home to begin rehabilitation therapy. That weekend was Father's Day, so I made the 4-1/2 hour trek again. Dad is depressed and wants to go home. He has tried to get out of the bed, even though he cannot walk yet.

Dad will be 82 in August. He has lived a very full life. But now his sight and hearing are both failing. He has struggled against Parkinson's disease for about 10 years. He has a distended bladder and so he must wear a urinary catheter at all times. After his first broken hip, the doctor told him if it ever happened again he might never walk the rest of his life. Surely his "quality of life" could be rated poor.

I love Dad and have grown quite close to him since my mother died nearly 20 years ago. But I often think about how in heaven, not only will he be able to walk again, he'll be able to fly! Also, he'll be with his own parents, whom he loved dearly. And I can't imagine how he could possibly be happier than he will be there with Mom.

A new booklet titled, Making Health Care Decisions: A Catholic Guide to End-of-Life Care by Father Richard C. Sparks describes the Church's position on all of this.

"Illness, aging, and finally death-of-the-body are a natural part of the life cycle for us all...Death is the inevitable and natural last stage of earthly life, opening us up to the fullness of eternal life.

...to "respect life" means to make decisions that enhance our lives as a whole. Throughout most of our lives, the obvious medical decision is to "forge ahead" - take your medicine, undergo the surgery, do the prescribed treatment that will save your life and enhance your health. But at some point, forestalling the inevitable onset of dying may be futile, wasteful, torturous, and morally wrong."

This pastorally sensitive booklet is taken from a larger book by nearly the same name Making Health Care Decisions: A Catholic Guide (Liguori Publications). The larger edition is edited by Ron Hamel.

There are three other booklets on topics from the larger edition as well: A Catholic Guide to Advance Health Care Directives, by Redemptorist priest, Mark Miller; A Catholic Guide to Medically Administered Nutrition & Hydration; by Michael R. Panicola, and A Catholic Guide: Introduction, also by the editor, Ron Hamel.

Liguori Publications is also a participant in a video serie s on health care ethics. This video series was prepared in part by the faculty of the Center for Health Care Ethics at St. Louis University.

In today's world of rapidly changing medical technology it is seldom easy to know what to do in some very important circumstances. Usually there is pressure and emotion surrounding those decisions. Thankfully these authors have helped us sort through what the Church teaches so we can make such life and death decisions with proper guidance.

On the Road a Lot

2006-04-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

I've been away from my computer a lot, traveling for business purposes. Our publishing company staffs booths at several national conventions where we try to sell our books and catechetical materials. In early April, I was in Annaheim, CA. Last week Atlanta, GA, and next week Chicago, IL. The member of our department who is in charge of these conventions retired unexpectedly and I have been asked to fill in for her.

Between all those trips I have attended two 2-day workshops, one in St. Louis and the other in Chicago. I have been in my office a total of only 8 days the entire month of April. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to get back into my own bed after so many days in strange ones.

I usually don't get into personal daily life in this blog, but on top of all the above, my apartment building has been sold. When the previous owner put it on the market I decided to begin looking for a house to buy. I love the apartment - it is right across from the Missouri Botanical Garden. My second floor balcony overlooks the garden. But I've been there three years, and I had no idea how much a new owner might want to raise the rent.

Instead, the new owner gave me a 30-day notice to vacate!

I had not been expecting that. Apparently, his loan requires him to occupy the building, and because of lease restrictions, I was the easiest person to get rid of. I have until May 1. Since I'm leaving April 30 for Chicago, it leaves me only tomorrow to move. Fortunately, I had already begun the process of working with a realtor, and so I will be staying for a few weeks with a friend, just until I can find a place I like.

Another fortunate thing is that I do like to travel...especially if it's to a place I've never been before. Perhaps I'm an explorer at heart. And sometimes I will walk and walk and walk until my legs can go no further just so I can see as much as possible.

I've had the great privilege of visiting Europe twice (I loved Germany!), Australia for a whole month, and even South Africa - which was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

On all these trips I did not have the travel guides that Liguori publishes available to me, but they would have been a great help. Several were written by Kevin J. Wright. These two I have pictured talk about lots of different places to stay and even restaurants to visits. Some of the travel guides lead pilgrims to specific shrines in Eastern & Central Europe, Western Europe, and the United States.

I still have three places I really want to visit sometime in my life: Hawaii, Greece, and the Galapagos Islands. I don't know why, but I've always had a fascination with Greece. And since I was a biology teacher before I "evolved" into other kinds of work, I really want to see that marvelous place where Charles Darwin got his inspiration for the theory of natural selection. To get there you have to go to Quito in Ecuador. That would cover South America for me. I still need to find a place and reason to visit Asia - then I will have set foot on all the continents of the world. (And no, I'm not going to try for Antartica!)

More On Immigration

2006-04-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

The immigration debate continues in Congress, in the media, in cities across the country, and among citizens. I recently came upon a piece written by a priest for St. Patrick's Day. Here is part of what he said:

"I can remember the excitement of my parents the night that John Fitzgerald Kennedy was elected president of the United States in 1960. I was a ten-year-old who really didn't understand the cause of their delight. They were so happy because he was a Catholic, and both of them could remember the terrible bigotry that Al Smith, a Catholic, faced in the presidential elections of 1928. Equally important, if not even more significant, was the fact that the handsome Senator from Massachusetts was of Irish descent. Both my parents were born in Ireland and had immigrated to America as young adults."

"The story of America, be you Irish, Italian, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Vietnamese, or any other nationality, is one of immigration. Almost all of us can trace our heritages to other lands. Many who landed here were escaping poverty, persecution, and only hoped to provide a better life for their families. We are a nation of immigrants."

"I often walk a path where I live in Brooklyn. It is called Shore Road and is right at the Narrows where ships come into New York and first glimpse the Statue of Liberty. Someone has scrawled graffiti on the ground that reads 'Stop all immigration now.' Those are some of the saddest words I have ever read. It is at the very place where my parents and millions of others sailed into New York and saw Lady Liberty in the Harbor. Today, I am proud to be Irish...and I am especially proud to know that I am the son of immigrants."

I can readily resonate with this reflection. Although I am 4th generation in this country, my entire family (both my Mom's and my Dad's sides) came over from Germany in the mid-1800s. My brother is adopted and is French-Canadian. The Irish, the Polish, Jewish people, and all kinds of other folks have experienced terrible discrimination against them here in "the land of the free." Now Hispanics are facing similar a plight.

Liguori Publications, where I work, is trying hard to respond to the needs of our sisters and brothers from south of the border who come here seeking what they cannot find at home. We have a whole line of products in Spanish to aid those who need our help. The traditions of these people are deeply rooted in their culture. They bring a cohesive sense of "family" that is sadly being lost among many Anglo-Americans.

Just as the Greeks, the Italians, the Africans, the French, and so many others have brought a wonderful richness into our lives as Americans, so will our Latino neighbors add a lot to what makes America the colorful and prosperous land that it is. We should welcome them with open arms.

What is Lent Really About?

2006-03-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid growing up in Catholic schools, Lent was always a really big deal each year. Sister would have us all plan out what we were going to "give up" for Lent. Of course, almost everyone gave up candy. In addition, I usually gave up movies for Lent, but since we only saw a movie once every couple of months, giving it up for six weeks was not very difficult - unless a Disney movie came to town during Lent. Some kids would try to give up things like homework or green beans for Lent, but I don't think they ever got away with that.

"Giving up" was really pushed hard for Lent back then. It was seen as penance, but also self-discipline. Those are not bad things, and indeed, sometimes good can really come from that. My mother used to give up smoking every year for Lent. She would keep a couple of packs in the drawer just in case she became intolerably cranky, but she usually was quite successful. Then one year she realized that she had gone for six whole weeks without a cigarette, why should she start in again?

And as I have "grown in wisdom and grace," I have come to realize that that is what Lent is really about: conversion - making a permanent positive change in your life. For me that means not giving up something like candy (which I will go right back to on Easter) but curtailing a practice in my life, or beginning a new one, that I really want for the long run.

A few years ago I happened to be at a family event on Ash Wednesday. Several of my cousins got into a discussion about what they were doing for Lent. One has always given up drinking alcohol for Lent. But in recent years he has begun drinking a glass of red wine daily for good heart health. He said he really was in a dilemma that year because he believed giving it up would be good self-disipline, but on the other hand he started drinking wine because it was supposed to be a good thing for his health. Another, who practically lives on chocolate, was of course giving it up for Lent. So I launched into my theological treatise about making a permanent conversion during Lent, not "giving up" something that you will go right back to after the season. I went on and on for several minutes trying to convince them all why I was right. But my cousin simply responded, "You just don't want to give up chocolate for Lent!"

I do believe in the need for penance and self-discipline. Anything you want to be good at requires self-disicpline. And I strongly believe in the need for permanent conversion - at every moment of our lives we are called to become more...to become even better than we already are. But I happen to love fish. I look forward to meatless Fridays because I get to enjoy tuna salad for lunch and a nice baked cod filet for supper. So I have to work hard to make Lent meaningful.

A recent article in Liguorian magazine does a wonderful job of explaining how one person went through stages in her life from where Lent was pretty much meaningless, to a point today where she has made it meaningful for herself. The entire issue of the magazine is quite good, but especially that article by Patricia H. Livingston. You can read the article at Liguorian.org

Concern for Desperate People

2006-02-14T13:27:00.000-08:00

For quite some time I have been keeping an eye on the whole border-crossing issue at the Mexican/US border. I cringe when so-called unofficial groups decide to take the law into their own hands and try to keep potential immigrants out. I also know ministers who work throughout the area offering aid to those who get left stranded in the Sonoran desert trying to make the trek.

Mostly, the problems are political ones. I have heard it said that if the US immigration service really wanted that border sealed, it could do so without much effort. But the government understands how important those migrant workers are to the US economy. Those people coming here from Central America (like all of our own ancestors coming from Ireland, Germany, Poland, Italy, Greece, and elsewhere generations ago) are willing to do just about any kind of work just to have a chance for a better life than they have in their homeland. Thus, they take the lowest paying, most menial jobs that no US born citizen is willing to do. Without all those illegals, the bottom tier of our own economic system would crumble.

I have been in southern Arizona and New Mexico numerous times. It is truly a treacherous climate there. I would never want to be stranded there - day or night, summer or winter. Most of the people who try to get across the border have no idea what it is like when they start out. Then they get into the worst part after it becomes too late to turn back.

The Way of the Cross of the Immigrant Jesus (Liguori Publications) is a very provocative set of meditations on the plight of our sisters and brothers to the south. It challenges our complacency. It shows how Christ still suffers today in the sufferings of the poor. The Introduction to the booklet states:

"Today Jesus walks the sorrowful journey of the migrant...This Way of the Cross is intended for all those...who are living the difficult experience of migration, for those who work with migrants building a better world, a world without borders, and to those men and women who have opened their eyes to the harsh reality of this phenomenon and want to be challenged by it."

I guess the real questions are:

Are we willing to be our brother's/sister's keepers? (see Gen 4:9)

Do we recognize that our neighbors are like the Samaritan, the people we normally don't want to be around? (see Luke 10:29-37).

This can help a lot of people

2006-02-06T12:46:00.000-08:00

Here's some really good news in the midst of what's going on in the world today. I can only imagine the pain and struggles that victims of sexual abuse endure. But now along comes Catie the Caterpillar: A story to help break the silence of sexual abuse, by Tracy M. Schamburg (Liguori Publications).

It is a delightful little book that can easily speak to the inner fears of kids who have unfortunately been caught in the guilt that results from such trauma. Here is what the back cover says:

Catie is a sweet little caterpillar who suddenly stops eating, sleeping, playing, and praying because she is keeping a terrible secret: she is being sexually abused by her uncle. With the help of a wise old caterpillar counslor, Catie is finally able to reveal her trauma and get the support she needs and deserves. She is transformed into a beautiful butterfly, a symbol of the freedom that accompanies the healing process and of the victory over shame. . .

Catie the Caterpoillar's simple, straightforward language and colorful illustrations realistically portray the scenario of child abuse, integrating the lines typically used by perpetrators and the guilt feelings and withdrawal of the victim into a story that demonstrates the need to express rather than suppress feelings.

Abuse happens in all kinds of situations - families, churches, public places. Both boys and girls are victims, and in most cases it is relatives who are the abusers. Psychology tells us how important it is to find help and healing because unfortunately abuse victims often themselves abusers of others. Let's hope that books like Catie the Caterpiller can help

Can Someone Really Be Indispensible?

2006-01-29T12:34:00.000-08:00

I've had many different jobs in my life in several different places. My typical mantra when it came time for me to move on was, "No one can ever be indispensible." That was my automatic reply to those who asked how the place would ever get along without me. (I appreciated the compliment, but really. . .)

Yet sometimes you come across truly heartwarming stories that move you emotionally. I happened upon the following story in a book titled, Life Doesn't Get Any Better Than This, by Robert A. Alper (Liguori Publicatioons).

The story takes place at the small private college the author's daughter attended. It was parents' weekend and the college president was addressing the parents. He began by asking for forgiveness.

"The dormitories are really not in the shape we would prefer," he said. "A lot of minor repairs have been neglected. We're not pleased with the way some residences are looking, and we apologize."

But there was a reason. The president explained that a few months back a maintenance supervisor who is in charge of overseeing the residence halls was diagnosed with cancer. During the summer he underwent surgery twice. The prognosis was hopeful, and the man was now recuperating, hoping to resume work in December.

The college needed to address the man's illness and his absence. He was in a critical position with important responsibilities.

What they decided to do was . . . nothing. No temporary replacement. No permanent replacement. No major restructuring of the staff. They would just shuffle along without him for a while, and if some things didn't get done, well, they just wouldn't get done.

The administration decided that more important than spackle and paint and squeaky doors was the message they wanted to send to this man during his battle against cancer. The message was clear and direct: "We need you here. We will not replace you. We eagerly, even impatiently, await your return. And we have every confidence that you will come back to us, in good health."

Wow! So many decisions in our world today are based on finances with little consideration for human beings. How uplifting to hear of a large organization that has more concern for a member of its community than for the looks of its property. I think the author's daughter must have gotten an excellent education at that college.

Special People

2006-01-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

All of us meet special people throughout life who leave a unique impression on our lives. Just over forty years ago, a wonderful, wonderful substitute teacher, named Mildred Duda, had such an impact on me. She was a regular substitute at our school, St. Alphonsus in Davenport, Iowa. She filled in for my 4th grade teacher who was out after surgery for a couple of weeks. The next year she happened to be subbing for my class on the day President Kennedy was killed (one of those moments frozen in time that we all remember).

Later that year our teacher (who had been sickly all year) had to leave school for good, and we were fortunate enough to have Mrs. Duda fill in for the last couple months of the school year. She was a wonderful teacher who affirmed everyone no matter what they were doing or what they were interested in. She made classes interesting and exciting. I remember for one geography project she had each of us select a state and build a small float to represent the people and resources of that state. Then we had a "parade" in the gym for the rest of the school with our miniature floats. Since there were less than 50 kids in the class, I got two states: Wisconsin and North Carolina.

While I was home in Davenport visiting my family this past weekend, I happened to come across the obituary for Mrs. Duda, and it brought back so many wonderful memories from a long time ago. For several years I taught school, and I only hope that I had a small fraction of the positive impact on some of my students' lives that Mrs. Duda has had on mine.

Some of these special people, like Mrs. Duda, never become famous even though their spirit and values spread quietly into the lives of hundreds of young kids. Other people, who spread their message humbly and quietly do eventually become well-known because their lives are so counter-cultural. Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker Movement is such a person. Dorothy deeply loved the poor and did whatever she could to welcome them and to feed them. She began a group of houses of hospitality for the poor that now have locations throughout the country.

Here is a quote from one of her writings. "To serve others, to give what we have is not enough unless we always show the utmost respect for each other and all we meet." (Dorothy Day: In My Own Words, compiled by Phyllis Zagano, Ligouri Publications.)

Mrs. Duda worked tirelessly for her students because she saw the potential for bright futures in each of them; Dorothy Day worked for the poor because she saw the beauty and dignity of Christ in each one, and thus she had the "utmost respect" for them.

When we come to know someone in person, like Mildred Duda, it is a great blessing. But we can also come to know someone we've never met through books. And even they can still have a significant impact on our ways of thinking and acting. That is how I have gotten to know Dorothy Day. She mystifies me; she humbles me; she challenges me; and I need that.

Who - either famous or not - has made a difference in your life? Tell us about it.

Things to Learn from Others

2006-01-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

I belong to a so-called "blended family." It's an interesting story. My mother died of a heart attack in December 1986. Her next youngest brother and his wife invited my dad over for dinner a lot and to family parties they were having just to keep him socially occupied, and help prevent loneliness from setting in so badly. He told me they had done the most of anyone for him after Mom's death.

Only ten months later Mom's brother, my uncle, died of lung cancer. So Dad started to take my aunt out to dinner and ask if she would like to go to family events together. He told me he merely wanted to reciprocate for her in her loss.

Well one thing led to another and several months later Dad told me he was going to give her a ring - on Valentine's Day, no less! They got married in June 1989. People ask me how long I've known my step-mother and I answer, "All my life."

Although I was already an adult and living away from home when my mother died and my dad remarried 2-1/2 years later, I still have a lot to do with my step-family because I visit as often as I can. I was checking out a little book called, Nurturing Your Blended Family, by Ralph Ranieri (Liguori Publications) and I came across a paragraph that I found applicable to anyone, whether in a blended family or not.

"I know a woman who never misses an opportunity to point out things for her kids to learn, even from negative experiences. If the children complain about a teacher, the mother says that maybe the teacher's baby was sick and she was worried. If a child is upset about his poor performance in a soccer game, she reminds him of what the great quarterback Charlie Ward said after a close loss to Notre Dame: "Nobody died." If a receptionist or store clerk is impatient with them, she says maybe the clerk's boss is giving her a hard time. She wants her children to know that people do not act in an impatient manner just because they are mean, and that disappointments have to be put into perspective. Understanding other people's emotions helps children understand their own. ...moving into a blended family, gives children ample opportunity to understand people's emotions - and consequently their own."

I think that final sentence has an incredible amount of wisdom in it. We can learn so much about our own emotions by pausing for a moment to consider what is really going on in another person's life with whom we are interacting.

So often I think we like to believe that we are king or queen, and that every waiter, clerk, other driver, etc. should bow to our commands. But we have to recall that all of us have bad days. Something didn't go right at work; we had a fight with a family member; we're feeling sick; we're running late - lots of things that affect our abilities to act our best. And so do other people.

What Ranieri is trying to remind us is that if we feel we are not being treated as we should be by someone else, chances are they having a bad day just like we do occasionally. We need to pause before we snap back at them. Maybe we even need to ask if something is wrong. Showing a little compassion or empathy for the person we are dealing with can have an incredibly positive impact on his or her life because you have shown that you care (at least a little) about them, and that you understand, or at least that you are trying to.

Such understanding can make all the difference in the world in someone else's life - and your own.

I Need You; You Need Me

2006-01-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

"Why do we let other people's judgments play such a large part in our understanding of ourselves and our feelings about ourselves? The answer lies at the heart of human nature: we are a profoundly social species. We must live with others, interact with them, give and receive support and love, . . . All human existence is coexistence." (True Self-Esteem; Jim McManus, Liguori Publications.)

Most of us probably revel in our personal independence. As teenagers we struggle constantly for independence from parents and authority figures, yet peer pressure is one of the most powerful forces in our lives at that time in life.
In order to feel good about ourselves we need reassurance from others that we are good. It's the old "I'm okay; you're okay" syndrome. It's not a bad thing at all. It's very natural. It's the way we're made.

I became very aware of this need in myself when I studied the enneagram. I am most naturally a "9" on the enneagram. But when I am in a sticky situation or feel trapped in a corner I fall toward the "6" who needs approval for just about everything he does. Thus, I like to take my work to others and receive their compliments and commendations. I find myself at my worst if someone in a supervisory position challenges my work, telling me it could be better. For me, part of it is that I grew up pretty much as a "straight-A" student in school and never got in trouble. (Perhaps I missed out on some of the best times of life!)

At the same time, I am strongly an introvert. I get re-energized when I'm alone. I can lead a large group of people through a lesson, but that is a role I fill only when necessary, and I will need quiet and solitude to find balance once again.

Yet McManus says in his book, True Self-Esteem,

"Each of us has a profound need to matter to other people. That is to say, we need to believe that we are relevant to someone, that others care about what we do and whether we live or die. We need someone who values us and respects us. We need to be needed. The feeling of mattering to other people is an extremely powerful thing. People will go to extraordinary lengths and suffer extraordinary pains and privations for those to whom they matter, and who matter to them."

I guess the biblical lesson from the book of Genesis is true. We are our brother's (sic neighbor's) keeper! (cf. Gen 4:9)

Will we make this year better?

2006-01-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well it's 2006. I spent New Year's Eve at the new house of my friend Philip Del Ricci. We broke in the new year and the new house at the same time. I often like to recall what I did each previous year on New Year's Eve. For 2005 I was at the home of a fellow chorus member.

In 2004 the city of St. Louis was commemorating the 100th anniversary of the 1904 World's Fair (you know, "Meet m e in St. Louis, Louie; meet me at the fair...") So five other friends and I had a late dinner at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park (site of the 1904 Fair) where we could watch the fireworks at midnight and could see the giant ferris wheel built to imitate the original one at the World's Fair so many years earlier.

I'm drawing a blank about 2003, but I spent 2002 at the home of a couple who are dear friends of mine. In 2001 I was stranded in Chicago by a 2-foot snow storm. I remember looking out the window of the place I was staying and telling myself that I was paying $40 a day for that rental car to just sit there under all that snow!

Getting ready for the big event of 2000 - not only the turn of a century but this time the turn of the millennium - I mentioned to a friend that I had to decide where I wanted to be as the clock struck midnight that year. He suggested that instead I should think about who I wanted to be with. I knew he was correct. I was living in Seattle at the time, but I decided to return to St. Louis and spend the evening with a small group of friends at one of their homes. It was delightful. And I remember turning on the television just after midnight and hearing Karen Foss proclaim, "It is 12:05 am, and it is now January 1st of the year 2000." It was hard to believe we were no longer in the 1900s - after all, it had been 19-something for all of my life.

There was so much to-do about the new millennium. I told the people I worked with in Seattle that if the world did end with the beginning of the new millennium, as some naysayers predicted, that because of the time difference between St. Louis and Seattle, they would have 2 more hours to live than I would!

I did not really expect the world to come to an end, but I think many of us were disappointed that none of the computers around the world got screwed up like predicted. People tend to go crazy at turning points like that. Some people actually seem to look for doom and gloom. That trait is called "apocalypticism." It is addressed in a book about the millennium by Christopher M. Bellitto (Liguori Publications).

"Many of the important aspects of apocalypticism, especially the negative, come together in the recent history of religion and politics in the United States. We Christians have to be honest enough to look at ourselves in the mirror and admit this potent mix. We must emphasize personal renewal while others in our country simply continue those distracting "Woe is us!" and "The End is near!" prophecies as we enter the Church's third millennium."

I think what Bellito is saying is that if there is anything we need to get ready for, then we should do it not by trying to put guilt trips on people or pointing to tragedies throughout the world, but by constantly striving to become better people (i.e. personal renewal). That in turn will make the world a better place and perhaps some of the calamaties we have been experiencing will not be so devastating.

No "Bah Humbug" Here

2005-12-21T12:51:00.000-08:00

I have been inspired by the BLOG of my friend, Secundo Pia Columbanus D'Silva, at Mystic Alchemy. He states in his most recent post that he wants to "be in the festive spirit of things." And so taking a cue from him I want to speak about a neat book I came across: Advent and Christmas with the Saints, by Anthony F. Chiffolo (Liguori Publications).

One of my favorite saints is not nearly as well known as St. Francis of Assisi nor St. Teresa of Avila, but he is still a very important saint in the Church. Saint Alphonsus Liguori is a "Doctor of the Church" because of his writings on moral theology. At his time in history the world was fighting the heresy of Jansenism. That was a belief that only a very few people can ever get to heaven because it is such a difficult feat. This heresy greatly over-emphasizes sin, and flies totally against the belief in a God who loves us unconditionally.

Saint Alphonsus' position was that because of God's tremendous love for us, any benefit of doubt must always be judged in favor of the penitent. For example, if someone was not sure whether or not they had transgressed one of God's laws, the Jansenists would have claimed that they most likely did commit a sin and should confess it. But Alphonsus said "no." Sin is a deliberate act and if a person isn't sure, then they certainly did not commit a deliberate act of sin.

Well, Saint Alphonsus is quoted in Advent and Christmas with the Saints. Here is what he says:

"It is a custom with many Christians to anticipate the arrival of Christmas . . . by fitting up in their homes a crib to represent the birth of Jesus Christ; but there are few who think of preparing their hearts, so that the infant Jesus may be born in them . . ."

We've been enduring so much controversy over the use of the phrase "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." And for years I have personally been confounded by the way the holiness of Christmas has been supplanted with comercialism. By December 26 we will not hear a single Christmas carol on the radio because everyone will be sick of hearing them since before Thanksgiving.

We can rant and rave about those things, but even for those who insist on using "Christmas" instead of "Holidays," do we really prepare our hearts for the sacredness of this event? Is our life different because God chose to become human and share in our plight, so that we now share forever in divine life?

Happiness is Contageous

2005-12-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while driving I heard on the radio the Christmas Waltz. One line of the lyrics say,

"It's that time of year
when the world falls in love..."

That sounds so romantic and I dreamed of all the warm feelings I've experienced at Christmastime through the years. Lyrics to a similar song say: "It's the hap-, happiest season of all."

Yet it is also one of the most stressful times of the year. For example, as of today there are six shopping days left till Christmas. How many presents do you still need to buy? There's some stress for you.

And unfortunately stress leads to a lack of patience, which leads to short a temper, which can lead to telling someone off who doesn't really deserve it. And that results in making all parties involved angry. Too bad for this "happiest season of all."

I think if we can step back for a moment and try to understand what's happening it will help. I came across this book that is actually written for parents and their teenagers, but much of its wisdom applies to us all. They Do Grow Up: Parents and Teens Talk by Patricia M. Robertson (Liguori Publications). It's an interesting approach to a book because for each topic, Mrs. Robertson gives a reflection directed toward her kids, then her teenagers respond with their own reflection on the same topic. Makes for an interesting dialogue in which we get to see both sides of the issue.

Many of the topics are applicable to all relationships, not just parents and their teens. For example, one chapter is titled, "Winter Chill." It talks about those times when people within a family are not speaking to one another, and no one really knows why. Often, instead of confronting the problem or issue, we just blame it on the season and hope it will pass in time. Sometimes it does, but often it only gets worse, alienating people from each other.

Here is a segment of the final paragraph to that chapter. I am adding (parentheses) to widen the application for all our relationships.

Many things cause teenage (our) anger. Yet, there are many things that make them (others) happy. Usually, the anger shows more than the happiness. This is common. Our newspapers tell us bad news and hide the good news. This leads people to be angry, young and old alike. In fact, there are lots of things quite similar, I'm sure, in your life that makes you angry. Happiness is contagious, so is anger. Remember that, the next time you remark on your teenager's (someone else's) mood.

It's also the cold and flu season. If you're going to be contagious, let it be your happiness, not your anger or physical ailments, that get passed on to others.

Holiday Memories from Childhood

2005-12-15T11:27:00.000-08:00

A few years ago when I was teaching adults, I had as many students of Hispanic and Asian descent as Anglos. At this time of year I would ask everyone in class to recall favorite traditions and memories of Christmas with their families. I believe that hearing stories from people of various cultures whose traditions are much different but just as meaningful to them, help us appreciate the wonderful diversity of people we live among. And they can enrich our own lives and traditions.

Among my own best memories were going to Grandma's house which was packed with relatives, and waiting for the lights to go out when Grandma plugged in the electric coffee maker and would blow a fuse. It happened every year!

I also remember the first year my niece was old enough (about 3 years, I think) to realize what was going on. There was great pile of brightly colored gifts under the tree, many for her of course. She sat very politely on the couch and unwrapped the first package handed to her. I think it was a doll or something like that, and she expressed delight over it. When a second bundle was handed to her she looked so surprised and exclaimed, "You mean there's more?"

Author Robert A. Alper shares memories of a very special gift in his book, Life Doesn't Get Any Better Than This, (Liguori Publications).

"I knew things were tough that season. We didn't starve, but everything had to be cut back as we tried to make do. . . My parents explained I would need to understand that they simply couldn't afford presents this time. Just this year. Next year will be better.

"On that final night of Chanukah my parents surprised me with a gift. It was a small one, they warned. Nothing very special. But I'd been so understanding of what was happening that they wanted me to have it. I felt a slight twinge of guilt over their sacrifice as I accepted the little package.

"Inside the box was a plastic model for my collection, a replica of a Chris Craft cabin cruiser. Probably cost about $2.95. I glued it together the next day, and for years, until I went off to college, the little boat sat on a shelf in my bedroom. It was far from being my fanciest model. Though it's been long discarded, the thought of it means more to me now than it ever did back then.

"When I look back on all those Decembers of my childhood, those often wonderful days of mystery, anticipation, celebration, I know for a fact that I received many dozens of presents over the course of the years. They form an indistinct blur. . . In truth, of all those gifts, I can actually remember only two. . . One was a twenty-six-inch English bicycle.

"The other was a plastic model boat."

Memories like these warm the heart and help us get into the true spirit of the season. I would truly enjoy hearing about other heartfelt memories from you.

Give more than just a present

2005-12-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time! While that's not news to anyone who watches TV or shops at any mall, I think it is important to reflect on the kinds of gifts we buy for others. I find it especially difficult to shop for my Dad. Whenever he needs or wants something, he just goes out and gets it. This year I made a donation to Food for the Poor in his honor. Some needy orphan will get the shoes and coat my Dad does not need.

I have a similar problem with my brother and his wife. For the past couple of years we have been giving each other gift certificates. From my point of view the nice things about gift certificates is that you usually spend them on things you would like to have but might not spend your own money on. My brother, younger than I am, is out of work on a permanent disability so I try to get them certificates for items they really need. Two years ago I gave them a $25 gift card to the mall; they gave me a $25 gift card for gasoline. Last year I gave them a $25 gift certificate to their local grocery store; they gave me $25 cash in a card.

I have to ask myself, "what's the point?" I guess the sentiment is there, but I surmise that it seems to be more of a mutual feeling of obligation rather than a real desire to give something nice.

With all the catastrophes that have happened in the world this past year, I count my blessings daily and feel compelled to help those whom have suffered so badly by donating - time, money, goods - in as many ways as I can. Here is an interesting opportunity I came across in a book called Youth Mentoring: Sharing Your Gifts with the Future. It is about giving of your time to a young person who needs support. Here is a most interesting excerpt from the Introduction.

Sadly, the fastest growing crime in America today is children killing children. Juvenile arrests for murder were more than 50 percent greater in 1996 than in the early 1980s. All juvenile violent crime is about 50 percent higher than it was fifteen years ago.

What does it take to reverse this horrifying trend? It can start with just one adult expressing an interest in one youth. A solution for some is a positive association with an adult other than his or her parents. Just spend time with a child and the world will be a better place. For some children, it can be as simple and as complicated as that.

Children need to feel that someone cares. A Young person who has a strong support system of adults, or even just one significant adult in his or her life is less lifely to engage in self-destructive behavior. It is the angry teen who lashes out at society through vandalism. It is the youngster in emotional pain who hurts others. Kids who feel valued have a greater sense of self-worth, and one cannot respect and love others without first respecting and loving one's self.

I guess what the author is really saying is, give the gift of love to someone who doesn't experience enough love in their life.

I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You...

2005-12-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

It is said that the holiday season is the worst time of the year for depression. A popular song calls it "the most wonderful time of the year." Yet because of our highly mobile society many people find themselves living far away from those they love. Perhaps people have high expectations for Christmas celebrations, but the reality does not meet up to their dreams or wishes.

We might think that homeless or unemployed people would be prime targets of depression. However, the truth is that no profession or class of people is exempt from depression. Surprisingly, even those in the "helping" professions are prone to it. Here is a brief excerpt from a book called Emerging from Depression by William Rabior (Liguori Publications). The words are from a conversation between a psychologist and a priest.

"Over the years I've treated a good many priests for depression. In fact, depression seems quite common in that profession."

When I asked him why, he looked at me reflectively. "There is probably no single reason," he replied, "because depression occurs when a number of factors converge. For example, priests are alone a lot and may not feel supported or affirmed. Sometimes they drink too much. Or it could be a combination of a lot of things: too many transfers, too much work, too little genuine intimacy with too much loneliness, too many demands on too little resources."

How many of us who are not priests can identify with these problems? Depression is something that just creeps up on us and if not dealt with it only gets worse and worse. I admit that I have experienced periods of depression resulting from the loss of a very close friend and from living alone after I moved halfway across the country.

What helped me was getting involved with a musical performance group. I am a trained musician, but I had set music aside because I felt so burned-out by the demands on my time for practice and performing. After a while when I realized what was happening, I joined a new chorus and started to come alive again. Now I know how important it is to have music in my life.

I close with a few signs of depression that Rabior points out toward the end of his book. If you identified with the characteristics above and are experiencing any of the following symptoms, I encourage you to seek help from a physician or counselor - especially at this time of year.

Sleep disturbances - insomnia, sleeping too much, waking too early.
Decreased or increased appetite with weight changes.
Thoughts of death.
Guilt, shame, worthlessness, loss of self-esteem.
No interest is activities you normally like.
Decreased energy, exhaustion, fatigue, listlessness.
Aches and pains that have no cause or remedy.
Irritability.
Social withdrawal and isolation.

Immutable vs. In Motion

2005-11-30T13:07:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to respond to a blog post that my dear friend, Phillip del Ricci, posted some weeks ago, so I will use this, my own blog to do so. In Shattered Vows and Celibacy, Mr. del Ricci makes reference to an "immutable" church (unchallengable; unquestionable).

The truth is, immutability is not one of the "marks," or characteristics the Church claims. Rather, the creed lists the following four characteristics: "one" - it cannot be divided; "holy" - God's Spirit resides with and stimulates the Church; "catholic" - (with a small "c") meaning universal, i.e. for the whole world; and "apostolic" - it has a mission.

The Church might seem immutable, but that is because it has a such a long life (two millennia now) that it moves and changes very slowly. You might compare it to the great tortoises Charles Darwin observed on the Galapagos Islands. Or compare the lifespan of the Church to that of a human being, translating a typical 80-year human lifespan to the 2000-year span (so far) of the Church. Thus every year in a human life becomes 25 years in the life of the Church. It's like the reverse of dog-years. You know, for every year a dog ages it equals 7 years in human time. So a 10-year old dog is like a 70-year old person. Except every year of the Church equals 1/25 of a human year.

Are you following me? Think of it this way: You meet a friend you haven't seen for 5 years, and you say, "You haven't changed a bit!" In reality they have changed (if they are still alive), but you can't really tell any difference. Now for the Church a human life of 5 years becomes 125 years. No one lives that long, but if you visited the Church only once every 125 years, you would not notice much change.

But let's say you meet a friend for the first time in 20 years. The change would be obvious. In church years, that would be 500 years. If you visited the Church 500 years later, differences would be obvious, too.

My point is, the Church does change but change appears to happen very slowly since it takes more than a human lifetime for substantial change to take place. An example that proves this point is the papacy of John Paul II that lasted over 26 years. It was unusually long, and for anyone under about 30 years old, he was the only pope they knew until last April.

Yet to dispell any notion that the Church is immutable, unchallengable or even unchangable, here is a new book - Catholicism in Motion by James D. Davidson. This book limits its study to the Church in America, but its premise is that American culture has shaped what the Church looks like in this country and the Church's presence has shaped modern American culture through the years as well.

The author is a sociologist, so the book is not theological and therefore is not colored in any way by the Vatican. Davidson merely analyzes the data he has collected. He begins Chapter One by distinguishing two opposing philosophies about the Church in society. Here is briefly what he describes:

Functionalism sees the Church as an important social institution. . . (that) answers questions about the meaning and purpose of life. . . In other words, religion contributes to the well-being of society and its individual members. It is highly functional.

Conflict theorists, on the other hand, picture society as being in a constant state of disorder. The main reason. . . is that. . . there are different classes of people who are pitted against one another in a stuggle to maximize their own self-interests. . .

Conflict theory. . . proposes that religion is inconsequential in comparison to the economy and government. . . From this point of view, religion is a divisive and oppressive force in society. Its effects are more negative than positive.

He ends that section of the chapter by asking:

Which of these theories comes closest to your way of thinking about religion's role in society?

Let me know.

Catholicism In Motion reviewed by Lafayette Journal and Courier

Memory of Pope John Paul II

2005-11-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

As we approach the end of 2005, it seems that everyone likes to take a look back at the events of the year. One that seemed to have brought the entire world together for a couple weeks early on in the year was the death of beloved Pope John Paul II. Imagine any other religious leader for whom 4 million people would come to one city in order to celebrate his or her funeral! Such was the impact that John Paul had on the world during his 26 years as leader of the Church.

Perhaps he was most popular of all among young people. He loved them and encouraged them whenever he could. His knowledge of languages ingratiated him wherever he went. Remember when he first came to the U.S. - after seeing an army recruitment poster with Uncle Sam on it, he told the crowd, "John Paul II - he wants you!"

Over the next couple of weeks are a series of television specials about his extraordinary life. Most will concentrate on his career as pope. Yet his life prior to and leading up to his election is equally important and interesting. It tells us about the events that shaped his religious thinking. Growing up in communist Poland; attempting to escape the Nazi occupation of his country; losing both his parents and his only brother to death before he was even 25 years old; studying theology in an "underground" seminary because it was illegal to do so. . . all these formed his life and shaped his way of approaching the world.

Here is a great book to learn more about his "hidden" life as a young man and a young priest. Stories of Karol: The Unknown Life of John Paul II is published by Liguori Publication. It includes great photos that help remind us that this important figure in history was a normal human being like the rest of us. Here is a short excerpt from the book describing how he got the news that was to become a bishop:

Then, one day in July, he received a telegram. Somehow they had managed to track him down at the Masuri Lakes, where he was canoeing with a group of friends. The telegram upset his comfortable lifestyle and security. They wanted to make him a bishop. He was asked to present himelf immediatley to Cardinal Wyszynski in Warsaw.

In some ways, Wyszynski had been bypassed, . . . When he had him face to face, and asked him if he would accept the post, he was struck by the younger man's readiness. In fact, Karol responded with another question: "Where do I sign?" He signed, and only then did he ask: "Now can I go back to my hike?" That is, he didn't want to leave his young people. The cardinal consented with a smile.

Giving Thanks III

2005-11-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

This has been an exceptional year. The greatest natural disaster our country has ever seen blew through the southern Gulf states near the end of summer. Three months later the cities and the people there have not recovered yet. Hundreds of thousands have been permanently displaced because their homes and jobs were destroyed. Surely cities like New Orleans, Biloxi, and Gulfport will never be the same.

Where I live and where I will spend Thanksgiving day we were not directly affected. For that we can be grateful.

Yet there are so many people from the southern U.S., from Pakistan where they recently endured a tremendous earthquake, from the south Pacific islands swept by a huge tsunami wave last December, and those who have survived the war in Iraq - both Iraqi citizens and American soldiers and their allies - all of whom must be thankful just to be alive at this time. Each one of them is our brother or sister.

I give thanks this holiday for those people in hard-hit areas who are fortunate enough to still be with us.

O Lord, the meal is steaming before us and it smells good!
The water is clear and fresh.
We are happy and satisfied.
But now we must think of our brothers and sisters all over the world
who have nothing to eat
and only a little to drink.
Please, please give all of them
your food and your drink.
That is the most important thing!
But also give them
what they need every day,
to go through this life.
Now, and in all times,
give food and drink
to our hungry brothers and sisters.
Amen. - a prayer from Ghana

from "Hallelujah for the Day" An African Prayer Book, edited by Anthony J. Gittins, C.SS.P., Liguori Publications, 2002.

I also give thanks for the opportunities I've had this past year to help care for my ailing father because it has drawn me closer to him.

If you visit and read this blog, I invite you to leave a comment indicating where you live and what you are thankful for this holiday season. And I give thanks for you!

More Thankfulness

2005-11-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

A traditional way to celebrate holidays is to gather with family and/or friends for a meal. Here in the U.S. we have great cookouts and picnics on the Fourth of July. Certain specialty foods have become customary on various other holidays: birthday cakes; Christmas fruitcakes and candy canes; hot-crossed buns on Good Friday. Think of the wonderful array of foods served at all Hispanic festivals and Jewish celebrations.

While particular kinds of food help us celebrate most holidays, it has always seemed to me that the Thanksgiving holiday is ABOUT food. After all, autumn is harvest time. Legend has it that the Native Americans of the time and the early Pilgrims sat down together to share their food. What would Thanksgiving be without turkey and stuffing, cranberries, yams, and pumpkin pie?

Dear God,
where do we begin to say thanks?
You have given us all that we have:
you have given us our family and friends,
the ability to run, to think, to love,
and even to say "thank you" to you.

As we gather today with special foods,
help us to remember that every day
is a day to give thanks to you.

Please bless those children of yours
who do not have as much as we do,
and help us to understand how to share
what we have with them.
Thank you again for all your gifts. Amen.

from "Amen!" Prayers for Families with Children" by Kathleen Finley, Liguori Publications, 2005.

If you visit and read this blog, I invite you to leave a comment indicating where you live and what you are thankful for this holiday season. And I give thanks for you!

Being Thankful

2005-11-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

About a week ago on a Friday evening I had nothing special to do so I decided to go to one of the large shopping malls in the area and get some exercise by walking the length of the place on both floors and doing some window shopping. I discovered an incredible store full of Christmas ornaments. It was huge. Since I love Christmas, and for me decorating is the best part, I spent a full hour in the place. I did not buy anything (I'll try to go the week after Christmas and buy stuff at greatly reduced prices). But the evening put me into the warmth and excitement of the holiday season. In fact, I came right home and baked two batches of Christmas cookies which are now in the freezer waiting for the right holiday event!

But whoa . . . before we get to Christmas we must pause for Thanksgiving. When you think about it, these two holidays are almost the opposite of each other. Christmas is for giving and getting gifts, while Thanksgiving is for showing gratitude for what we have received. Both holidays are celebrated widely in secular society, yet both are deeply spiritual in nature for different reasons. I'd like to share a few Thanksgiving reflections with you.

"On this Thanksgiving Day, as we gather in the warmth of our families, in the mutual love and respect which we have for one another, and as we bow our heads in submission to divine Providence, let us...pray for his divine wisdom in banishing from our land any injustice or intolerance or opposition to any of our fellow Americans, whatever the color of their skins, for God made all of us, not some of us, in His image. All of us, not just some of us, are his children."
Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973);
From "Simple Blessings for Sacred Moments" A collection by Isabel Anders, Liguori Publications, 1998.

Of course President Johnson was in office during the height of the civil rights movement. Our country recently honored and celebrated the life of Rosa Parks, who might be called the mother of modern civil rights. The country has come a long way since she refused to give up her seat on that December day in 1955.

While I'm thankful for that, I realize that we still have such a long way to go to eliminate prejudice and discrimination toward minority people in our land - whether they be people of color who have lived here for generations, newly arrived Hispanic or Asian immigrants, our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, or the Native American peoples who helped celebrate the very first Thanksgiving day. For as President Johnson stated, "God made all of us, not some of us, in His image."

If you visit and read this blog, I invite you to leave a comment indicating where you live and what you are thankful for this holiday season. And I give thanks for you!